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Issue 554 - March 2026

Castletown Park Evacuated After Dragon Sighting

A quiet morning in County Kildare turned into a scene of panic today after multiple eyewitnesses reported seeing a massive, potentially dangerous dragon nesting inside Castletown Park.

Local authorities immediately cordoned off all main entrances to the public estate. Armed response units and wildlife specialists are currently on-site evaluating the threat.

The first sighting occurred at 06:00 AM near the historic Castletown House. A local dog walker reported seeing a reptile-like creature, measuring roughly fifteen meters in length, resting near the riverbank.

“I thought it was a fallen tree trunk at first,” said resident Seán Byrne. “Then it opened its eyes, which glowed like hot coals, and smoke started curling out of its nostrils. It shook its wings and the ground literally vibrated.”

By 08:00 AM, the Gardaí received dozens of emergency calls. Social media went into a frenzy as shaky smartphone footage emerged. The videos appear to show a scaly, charcoal-grey beast letting out a low, guttural roar that rattled windows across Maynooth.

Experts from the National Exotic Animal Agency have arrived to assist local police. Dr. Fiona Gallagher, a leading reptilian behaviorist, urged residents to remain calm but vigilant.

“We cannot confirm the creature’s origins, but its biological markers mimic ancient apex predators,” Gallagher stated during a brief press conference. “The smoke indicates a highly volatile internal thermal system. This animal is highly territorial, stressed, and potentially dangerous to the public.”

A strict five-kilometer no-fly zone has been established over Maynooth. Commuters are advised to avoid the areas surrounding the park. Meanwhile, authorities are advising all nearby households to stay indoors, keep windows tightly shut, and bring pets inside until the creature can be safely contained or relocated.

 

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